I blame you
by christinesangel100
Summary: Based on the Earth Girl trilogy by Janet Edwards. When Jarra was born into the Tell Clan, her sister Gemelle immediately assumed they'd be moving to Earth. They were a family - they wouldn't abandon one of their own. However, her family are forced to make a different choice...and Gemelle will always blame her older brother, Jaxon.


I didn't want to go to Earth.

I didn't want to go to Earth, but I couldn't choose to stay. Beta Sector was united by Fidelis. How could we let a member of our clan, the Tell clan, be a ward of hospital Earth?

I knew there was no possibility of that. I would moan, of course, and miss my friends, but...we'd be returning to the planet humanity evolved on. It was at least a little bit exciting.

I knew Jaxon would be annoyed, but I didn't think it would be a problem. The Tell clan, founded by Tellon Blaze, would never abandon a baby. We had honour. We were nobility of Zeus.

I packed my bags, sure we'd be travelling to Earth soon. I'd looked the rules up on my lookup the moment I'd heard my baby sister, Grandma's honour child, had been born Handicapped. At least one of the parents had to move to earth to look after her, and quickly. My father couldn't, of course – he was needed for active assignment at the moment, though most of the details were confidential. Having been expecting a baby, my mum was on leave. She'd be the one leaving.

I wasn't sure what to pack. Biting my nails, I threw in my favourite vids, and my stuffed animals. I wasn't leaving them behind...sure, I was 12 and many people did start to get rid of them, but if I was moving to Earth of all places, I'd need comfort. Maybe it was nardle of me, but I could always get rid of them another time. I hoped my friends wouldn't mind – I could keep in contact with them. Momentarily, I worried about the military school. Would I have to go to a civilian school instead? There wouldn't be a military school near earth, but I thought there was one in every sector. It had to be a possibility to portal there or something.

Nervously, I waited, before going out of my room to where my mum would be. We were staying with her, seeing as she was on leave, and it was currently school leave as well. I had been so excited my new sister would be born in August, meaning we wouldn't be at residences rather than with our parents.

That was when I heard the shouting.

Jaxon was yelling, Mum was crying. I moved towards it, then froze. It wasn't always a good idea to approach a situation like that.

"I'd kill myself before moving to Earth for a throwback! It'd destroy my life!"

No.

_No. _

Jaxon was...refusing. The suggestion of him killing himself made me step back, feeling sick. He was my brother. With only a year separating us, we'd always been fairly close, and they did their best to keep siblings close together in residences. The military understood the importance of family.

I heard them shout some more, my mother pleading with Jaxon, trying to persuade him that Jarra would need us, that no one should be left alone.

I heard Jaxon refuse to listen, scared of moving to earth.

I had to admit, it scared me too. I'd always wanted to be in the military, but I had no idea if that would be possible on Earth. Leaving my friends...everything would change.

But if we didn't move to Earth, our sister would never know us.

I heard my mum crying.

She wouldn't let Jaxon...

Chaos, it sounded like he meant it. If he meant it...that meant that Jarra would...

I went back and sat in my room, on my bed. My bags were packed around me. I couldn't face unpacking them. Chaos take it, why did this have to happen?

After a while, my mum requested entrance and I let her in.

She sat down on my bed beside me. I watched her note the still packed bags, but she didn't mention them.

"Gemelle...your sister, Jarra. She was born Handicapped." I'd already known this, but I swallowed. I knew what was coming.

"Hospital Earth requires at least one parent to move to Earth, or the child becomes a ward of Hospital Earth. Your father can't...and if we leave, Jaxon...well, he's rather upset."

That was an understatement. I'd heard his yells.

"We've decided that...it wasn't an easy decision, but we'll have to hand Jarra over to Hospital Earth. They've agreed to keep her name, seeing as it's on their approved list."

I hadn't thought of that. Jarra was an Honour Child. If Hospital Earth had changed her name...she wouldn't have been able to honour our Grandma. That would have been...they would have had to try for another child or leave her without an Honour Ceremony.

Even so, I protested.

"No! You can't leave her...what about the clan? What about Fidelis?" I asked desperately. She was my sister – I didn't want to leave her on Earth. The Portal charges to see her would be – no, that was nardle. We wouldn't even be able to see her, not until she decided she wanted to know who'd abandoned her.

I'd been looking forward to having a new baby sister, to not being the youngest. And she was going to live on Earth, without even knowing I existed.

My mum just looked at me sadly.

"We'll be waiting, if she wants to contact us. It would uproot...it would hurt all of us to move there. This is the wiser option."

"This is nuking Jaxon's fault!" I regretted the swear word the moment I'd said it, but angry tears were burning in my eyes at the injustice. I knew my mum would be angry. She'd scold me for it. Such language might be used by my cousin, Drago, but it was not suitable for me to use. Anyway, if his father found out he used those words...it was true they weren't as rude in Beta sector, somehow, but still. It wasn't language you were supposed to use.

"Gemelle!" My mother spoke sharply. "I understand you're upset, but there is no reason to use language like that, and certainly not directed towards your brother. It isn't his fault."

Despite not wanting to get into trouble, another sentence burst out.

"It's his fault we aren't keeping Jarra." I hid my face in my hands. I didn't want to talk about it. All I knew was that we were abandoning my sister, leaving her on Earth, and it was all because of Jaxon.

My mum sighed. "Don't blame your brother for this. There were several factors."

I knew better.

There was no way my mum would move to Earth after what Jaxon said, but I'd hoped anyway. I'd forever feel like a traitor to Fidelis, like we'd given up our own.

We had given up our own. A member of our clan, but even more importantly, our family. She was my sister – and I'd never even get to meet her.

Eventually, my mother left the room, after putting a hand gently on my shoulder to offer support. I knew she needed comfort too, but I couldn't think past my own misery and guilt.

I don't know how long I sat there, wishing things were different. Then I moved, and started unpacking my bags. We weren't going to Earth, we were staying here. I was used to packing, so it didn't take me long.

All I knew was that by the time I'd finished, I hated Jaxon. I would never forgive him.


End file.
